In crazy pandemic times like this, we’ve got to distract ourselves from the terrifying news (and even more terrifying toilet paper hoarders) somehow. Personally, I like to fall back on sitcoms.

So, what does binge-watching some favorite medical dramedies and lamenting the loss of sports get me?

Behold! A list of your New York Islanders and their TV medical counterparts.

Lou Lamoriello – Dr. Kelso (Scrubs)

Everything has to be done his way. He’s got lots of rules and is always down to business. Plus, it seems he doesn’t like playing prospects, just like Kelso hates interns.

Barry Trotz – Col. Potter (MASH)

He’s shorter than his staff, uh players, but there’s no doubt that he’s large and in charge. Trotz and Potter both have that wistful, sassy personality but don’t stray too far from business. Trotz talks about the hockey gods like Potter talks about WWII.

Anders Lee – the Janitor (Scrubs)

Tough guys who mean 100% well. They’re smarter than most give them credit for and friendly with everyone except the one guy that messes with them or their friends. Just like the Janitor only picks on JD and Kelso, Lee simply goes to work and only fights when the other team crosses a line.

Mathew Barzal – Elliot Reid (Scrubs)

He should be the best in the League. He’s got the skills. He won the Calder Trophy. And yet, he’s still not talked about in the highest circles. Just like Elliot Reid, who could be the best doctor at Sacred Heart but doesn’t believe in herself. Plus, they’ve both got high energy, fan-girl personalities, and great hair.

Anthony Beauvillier – Hawkeye (MASH)

This one is a stretch, I admit. But Beau is good, and he knows it, especially in the first half of the season when he and Nelson were on fire. He also has an understated jokester personality. Though not a womanizer like Hawkeye, he did tweet at Anna Kendrick over Christmas…

Casey Cizikas – Father Mulcahy (MASH)

Always smiling. Always happy. Always positive. Gives great hugs. Quiet, but a huge and important personality. Possibly one of the most level-headed and listened to guys in the room.

Johnny Boychuk – Christopher Turk (Scrubs)

Not only are both bald by choice, but they’re also both the lovable idiot and practical jokester on the team that keeps everyone laughing. Don’t underestimate them though – they’re also the best authority on their position. Turk is a world-class surgeon; Boychuk is a world-class defenseman.

Noah Dobson – Doug (Scrubs)

He tries his best, truly he does. He puts 110% effort into his game, but things just don’t always work out for him.

Thomas Greiss – Dr. Cox (Scrubs)

All they do is work out and teach kids. What better pair?

Semyon Varlamov – BJ Hunnicutt (MASH)

I have to say, this one is also a stretch. All I keep thinking about is how Varly was thinking about popcorn before replacing Greiss early in the season. That alone just feels BJ and his mostly serious but enormous practical-joker personality.

Butch Goring & Brendan Burke – Klinger & Radar (MASH)

Come on, these two are a pair, and what better pair suits them? Butch and Klinger both have their stories and delight everyone around them.

Radar is everyone’s favorite late-night DJ and the best clerk/announcer the 4077th ever had, just like Brendan is the quick one with the perfect commentary.

So, there we have it: a list of which Isles might be best in this crisis based on no facts whatsoever, just imagination and whim.
Now, who would you want to be quarantined with?

Featured Image: ErinNicole Conti / New York Sports Nation
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