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I have to admit that I’ve been laughing at this nonstop. Let me introduce it a bit. With 2 seconds left in the half against the Eagles, Odell left for the locker room unattended while the offense was on the field to kneel the ball. Odell was obviously frustrated and was showing it in a passive aggressive way. I’ve done similar things. Pat Shurmur was asked about it following the game and he said Odell was dehydrated and needed an I.V. Pat Shurmur was obviously lying to protect Odell from further criticism. For the sake of this article, I’m going to pretend he was telling the truth.

Odell was asked why he is so dehydrated that he needs an IV at halftime. His response? “I don’t like water.

Is that not the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard? You’re telling me that a top 5 wide receiver who just said he’s working way too hard and doing everything he can is just not drinking water. I believe John Mara was crying/laughing at this like Walter White when he’s under his house and realizes that the money is gone. Why does Odell hate water? It makes his stomach feel funny. I agree Odell. It’s weird and I’d rather my muscles cramp than have a funny stomach feeling. I’ve woke up in the middle of the night to both my calves locked up and praying it goes away but that doesn’t compare to the feeling of drinking water. Water? You mean like the stuff they put in toilets?

Adam Sandler has to be thinking of doing “Waterboy 2” after this quote from Odell. I can already see it. Odell is playing for LSU and Bobby Boucher comes back for his final year at South Central Louisiana State University to help the Mud Dogs win but to ultimately teach Odell a lesson about the benefits of high quality H2O. They’re playing in the SEC championship and Bobby gets an interception and Odell is chasing down Bobby when Odell falls to the ground with cramps suddenly. Bobby Boucher has a clear path to the end zone but is faced with a moral dilemma if he should score the game sealing touchdown or go get some water and finally teach Odell about the benefits of water. Coach Klein is yelling at Bobby to run but he comes to a dead stop. He gets some water and pours it in Odell’s mouth and reaches out his hand and says “Cramps are the devil and I will not let the devil win.” The Mud Dogs eventually win but Bobby gains a friend in Odell. Bobby puts extreme trust in Odell as they go through the draft process but Odell sells out and gets a sponsorship from “Brawndo: the thirst mutilator.” It’s not a happy ending after all.

In conclusion, Pat Shurmur and Odell are both lying but it’s been fun to pretend.

Photo:  Joe Robbins/Getty Images
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